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Who: Emma and her stupid pirate
Where: Emma's room
When: Sometime after Emma comes back?
What: Stupid pirate steals stupid kisses. Cute ensues. That's the log guys. ETA: NSFW. Don't let stupid pirates steal stupid kisses.

( Killian had never been overly fond of sleep. he didn't get much in any avenue of his life. he always woke early, sailing and sleeping didn't often mix. and well, it didn't get easier with the addition of nightmares he can't escape — the horrible sensation of waking up alone, one he'd battled for centuries, and yet that lonely pang isn't any easier now than it was straight after Milah died. there was a reason he avoided sleep in Neverland, because it would have been an escape in that terrible, timeless place. being here hadn't been great on his sleeping tendencies, either, not until Emma invited herself into his bed.

really, considering waking to find her gone... that he'd fallen asleep and she'd disappeared, like if he'd been awake he could have stopped it. it wasn't a shock that he'd stopped sleeping after she slipped away, up until his injury gave him no choice in the matter. he's recovered plenty since, he's not dizzy or weak anymore, even if his wrist will need a lot more time to completely heal, if it ever does. that means his sleeping schedule could very easily fall apart again, or it could have.

he figured that his behavior when she disappeared might have convinced Emma that distance was smarter. and there is a bit more distance, now, though mostly she seems afraid she'll hurt him, even though he's quick to convince her she won't. teasing her that she never seemed bothered by him in pain when she caught him over the head with something hard hadn't gotten him anywhere. she's lingering close but not at the same time, and it stings a bit knowing she thinks he's going to break all over again, even if he can't really blame her.

perhaps a part of her had wanted the distance to last past when they slept, it just hadn't worked out that way. he would get in bed, but he hadn't really managed any sleep until she joined him. it'd been mostly on accident, because even if he won't admit it, every time he sleeps he's terrified it's going to happen again. every time he wakes he is afraid the bed will be empty. only having her really lessens that fear, and even when it happens days in a row, he still can't shake the fear.

he wakes suddenly these days, and for a moment that panic is there. and then there's a slight sigh of a breath curling at his ear, the blonde head using his shoulder as a pillow tucking a little closer, as if even in sleep she's trying to remind him she's there. it works, and his heart stops racing. she stays away when they get into bed for the sake of his injury, but when they wake they're always closer. he's not sure who moves when, just that it happens, and he's not complaining.

that Emma is still sleeping surprises him, she's a very light sleeper. he doesn't want to wake her, she needs rest; they all do. and yet he can't help himself, he needs to quiet the demons that had been sure when he looked she'd be gone. he ducks a few kisses to her hair, and then he gets bold, kissing the brow that is so often lined with worry and concern, the spot that dimples when she smiles and another that puckers when she's cross. he sees that one a lot more often lately. his hand is lost, she's resting on his good arm and the other barely feels anything, so his mouth is the only tool he has. he tries to be light, steal affection he's not sure she'd grant if she were awake. it abates the fear to a quiet crawl, and that's the most he can ask for. )

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[Sleep comes easily with the exhaustion of constant worry. This place was bad enough before she came back to an injured pirate and a disappointed ex. Trying to juggle all this and dealing with the truth of what her parents did has left her tired all the time. There's never enough going on around her to keep her thoughts from going back to those memories of Storybrooke.

Emma traps herself in angry thoughts of choices that were made for her, and the fear of what she could become. It's easy to say that she's not going dark, and harder to manage the emotions that create that darkness. Like Killian, she's afraid of slipping. Her anger could be dangerous, so she can't be mad at him for thinking the same of his.

His injuries aren't the only reason she has for putting distance between them. Sometimes she wonders if she hurt him by letting them get too close. He expected her to be there, and they don't have any guarantees that they'll be able to stay together here. Being pulled out of the routine and waking up in the boiler room just proved how unstable all of this is. The few good things they do have are going to be taken away if they're not careful.

... Yet when she starts to wake, she feels that he's beside her again. Her body can't get out of the habit of winding around his, and she knows he's there before she opens her eyes. Emma feels his mouth on her skin; gentle, featherlight kisses that she's probably not supposed to know he's taking, and instead of moving away, she tilts her head and nuzzles into his neck, pressing a few kisses of her own there as she grumbles something that might sound like "morning".

Not a good one, they don't have those - but they're still together.]

( the whole idea was not to wake her. he's only got bits and pieces of what she experienced in the time she was gone, yet it's clear it's weighing quite heavily on her. if she can find some rest, he doesn't want to disturb it... yet he doesn't feel too much shame when she angles a little closer and nuzzles toward his neck. it's a lovely moment of limbo, between waking and sleeping where they can forget about where they're trapped and the circumstances of everything and just have this moment with each other.

he doesn't blame her for what happened, though he wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if he knew. Emma seems to take her title of savior entirely too seriously, as if the weight of everyone's happiness belongs on her shoulders. he wants to reassure her that isn't at all how the world works, even in a world of fairytales. happiness needs to be fought for, earned; not handed off by a well meaning savior. how guilty she felt for Regina's unhappiness had been evidence of that, as if saving a life was something she should feel bad about.

in this moment, though, all he has to do is think about the soft touch of her lips on his skin and the weary mumble of ... well, it sounds a bit like morning? maybe it is. it's hard to tell in a place constantly cloudy. he hums something that is an answer but it's not actually a word, just a noise of contentment he should likely feel guilty about, he just can't manage it.

this is where he should apologize for waking her, but instead he draws a few more kisses along her features, knowing she's awake enough to refuse them and hasn't. she thinks he's safer at a distance, but nothing heals him like moments like this one. it inspires a keen desire to be better, be the man that deserves this, be the man she sees instead of the dark reality she hasn't entirely realized yet. its only when he gets to the corner of her mouth that he manages an actual greeting. ) Morning.

[His lips at the corner of her mouth brings him close enough for Emma's answer to be a kiss instead of another mumbled word. They do better with action than actual, meaningful conversation. Everything that they've been through lately has changed the way things are here. She's not going to go back to sleeping alone and acting like she's afraid to take what she wants, or worse, like she doesn't know. She's always going to love Neal the same way that Killian is always going to love Milah, but they have a chance at something that Emma isn't willing to give up. It might not be happily ever after, but even a few seconds of happiness in a place where they're trapped and helpless is worth taking the time to appreciate.

Emma is careful, though, when it comes to his injured hand. Her eyes open for long enough to her to try to figure out where it is. He won't show enough restraint to keep himself from getting hurt, and while there was a time when she was completely fine with seeing him hurt and adding to the aches and pains, they're so far past it that she looks out for him when she knows he won't have the sense to take care of himself.] You okay?

[Okay for it being early in the morning in this shitty hotel. Neither one of have been the normal definition of the word in weeks. Killian seems to be managing things a little better with her to keep him in line. He hasn't punched any more of her friends, but she doesn't have that many to begin with.

Her lips find his again while she waits for an answer, delaying any spoken response with a soft, sleepy kiss. Give them a few minutes and they'll be making themselves whatever passes for presentable around here so they can keep living the same hell over and over, but there's time. Nothing good is going to happen when they leave the bed, they might as well wait instead of rushing toward disappointment.]

( as much as he hates to admit it, he'd probably agree that he won't ever be her happily ever after. that's not how these stories go, the beautiful princess ending up with the broken villain. granted, her story has had all too many bumps along the road, yet he does not see much villainous about her. if anyone deserves a happy ending, it's Emma Swan; even though she thinks that her happy ending is dependent on making the rest of Stoybrooke happy, which he might tell her given the opportunity is an impossible task. he wants to be her ending, he believes that she is his — how could she not be?

he just wonders if he could possibly be hers. if he makes her life better in the way she makes his, without trying in most instances. it doesn't seem to add up, that a villain could make a savior happy, even if he wants nothing more than to make her as happy as he possibly can.

so he goes into these moments with a slight awareness that they won't last. he can't help himself, really, when he loves he loses, and he doesn't suspect that Emma will be when that part of his story turns around. it means he needs to savor every moment he has with her, and he doesn't have that many to begin with. she kisses him to delay an answer, and really he doesn't want to give one. she's right that he won't think about his injury if it means being closer to her, it's just a matter that she won't let him any longer. he's not ready to get out of bed and face what likely hasn't changed, not when she's soft and sleepy and welcoming underneath him. his body settles a little more on top of hers as he devotes himself to the kiss instead, and for a pirate that's constantly throwing innuendo and rather despicable conversation, he's surprisingly content with these sweet, soft kisses. )

I'm fine. ( it's whispered between one kiss and the next, and he knows that Emma doesn't much believe such blank answers, so he teases her in the next breath. ) My arm's a bit numb but that's from someone sleeping on it. ( before she can take that as a complaint said arm curls her closer, not at all inclined to let her escape. )

[ Soft and sweet isn't what either of them are supposed to be into. He's a pirate, and she's spent a solid twelve years with her heart guarded against anyone who might try to get close. She finds ways to build barriers in the best of situations, and here Emma has every reason to turn away from this. If she wanted to take her problems out on him, she could. Wouldn't take much more than sleeping in her own bed and letting him handle his issues on his own. Those are the kinds of thoughts that must fill his mind when he's apologizing for his latest mistake, but they don't occur to Emma for more than a passing awareness of what he's worried about. He's seeing someone whose first instinct is to run, it's going to take him some time to realize that she doesn't want to.

With everything going on back home, she hasn't given any thought to what happily ever after would look like for her. As far as she's concerned, the savior doesn't get one. She's not a fairytale character, not in the traditional sense. Princess Leia and Prince Charles might be in Henry's storybook, but they don't have the promise of a happy ending to guide them. They just have each other, for as long as this works. He says she's his happy ending. Emma might not be as open with her feelings, but she knows he has a place in hers. ]

If you wanted me to move, all you had to do was say so. [She teases back by pretending that she could slip out of his grasp, chuckling when he tightens his hold instead of letting go. Amusement flashes in her eyes while she reaches up, skimming the tip of her finger across his jaw.] I seem to remember telling you I wasn't going anywhere.

( to him, her title as savior does not make her exempt from happy endings. if anything, that makes her even more likely to find one, one day. heroes get happy endings, happily ever afters and all that nonsense. villains don't, and while he wants to change that, it's not a matter of twisting a story teller's arm until he gets what he wants, something Emma tells him the entire town is up in arms about in their future. he at least knows that much, for all his slipping off the straight and narrow. he'd like to be with Emma at the end of his story, but no matter how selfish he is, he'd like for her to be happy more.

at least, right now... he thinks he does make her happy. even if it's just in flashes, that's enough, considering this place is not exactly exuding warmth and happiness. )

Right. ( it's an easy agreement, he could have just said so. he didn't, though, and the implication is obvious. he doesn't want her to move, not in the slightest. a slip of a smile edges onto his features at her reminder she's not going anywhere, even though there's a certain hollowness to it, knowing how easy it is to disappear in this place. he dips to catch the tip of her finger in another kiss. ) That doesn't mean I shouldn't appreciate what's right next to me.

( the key to appreciating her appears to be more kisses, and he steals another before she can answer. he likes this development, conversation between kisses. it won't work anywhere but the sanctity of their shared bed, but it's nice in the moment. )

[ He has a point, the two of them shouldn't take this for granted. She's learned that the second they expect anything from this place, their situation starts to change. Everything is functioning until there's no heat, everything's normal by hotel standards until the ghosts show up, everyone's present until they disappear. He doesn't wake up expecting her to be by his side anymore, because of that one morning when he did and she wasn't. She can't comfort him with reassurances, because she doesn't know whether it's going to happen again, or if he'll be the one to vanish next time.]

So this is your idea of selfless appreciation? [Emma's sure he's getting something out of this, too. He might even be able to feel the twitch of her lips quirking upwards, almost managing a smile before she pulls him into another kiss instead. So what if their choice method of dealing with all of this is not dealing with it? Getting up means facing this place and spending another day without her son. A few minutes of a better lie isn't the worst thing they could be trying for.]

We should probably get up soon. [Soon. All that not moving she's doing says she's not too interested right now.]

Well nobody said anything about selfless. ( his appreciation is just as much for his benefit as it is for hers. he knows how easily she can slip away from him. he's lost Emma before the hotel ever got involved, after all. he's not sure he quite has faith that they're meant to be together, but he knows now that he won't ever stop fighting to be with her. if he loses her again, he can't fall apart the way he did before. he needs to keep his head on straight, fight to get back to her, that was the only possible option.

that doesn't mean he is going to ignore what they have now. if he only has a few more of these moments together left, well, he's going to stack them all in his mind and use them to keep going the next time they lose each other. )

That's not really how pirates work. Greedy gits, the lot of us. ( his arm tucked under her head curves up to pull numb fingers through sleep-mussed strands without a hint of shame, and when she curves up to kiss him again he doesn't suppose he has a reason to. getting up, though... he mumbles a noise of discontent at the idea. he's happy where he is. they won't be able to stay forever, but what's the rush? )

Right, because I wasn't clear on how pirates work. [She knows what she signed up for. That's one of the things she's clung to lately, dealing with everyone's lies back home. Killian's never considered himself good. There's goodness in him that she sees every day, but he doesn't sell himself as a hero who chooses right over wrong. He's tempted by darkness, and sometimes he gives in to it. He's honest with her when he does, and he tries to learn from his mistakes. They're learning how to navigate this relationship together, that means taking Captain Hook and Killian Jones.

She can do that. If he can accept her (and she knows she doesn't make it easy, she usually makes it the opposite of easy), then she can do the same for him.] I know how to handle you when you get greedy. [Which doesn't necessarily mean she intends to stop him. She likes the feeling of his fingers in her hair and the careful way he's pressed against her. Why would she argue with that?]

( knows when to handle him when he gets greedy. well, yes, that's a fact, though it hasn't been a problem lately. ) Right, that you do. ( he's aware of what his future will be if he gets too greedy — a very cold shower — yet that is never exactly reason enough to avoid letting their kisses get slower and more heated. in fact the pirate in him will take as much as she'll let him and suffer some chilly water after. it's worth it.

he shifts almost entirely on top of her, weight balanced on the arm behind her neck as he looked down at her. gods, even with the sleep lingering in her features and her hair a little mussed from bedhead, she's the most gorgeous things he's ever seen. it's one of those frustrating times when exactly how he feels about her might as well be stamped across his forehead, for how subtle he is. at least he chases away the weight of that by dropping to run his lips down her jaw, finding a spot just behind her ear. )

Too greedy? ( it's a low inquiry just by the shell of her ear; a mix of playful and a little darker than that. they have gotten quite good at kissing, but he'd be a bloody liar if he said he didn't want more. he's just not sure when she'll want it the way he does. even knowing now and here is not the place nor the time... he can't help trying. )

[He's supposed to be healing. Greedy hasn't been a problem because he has an injured hand and a bruised face, but those shades of purple have started to fade. The hand's going to take some time, but it's been getting better instead of worse. That doesn't mean she wants him pushing his luck, or that this is the right place for them to start moving forward. Is it too greedy? It might be, because the way their bodies are aligned makes just how greedy he's feeling start to become clear.]

Are you trying to get me to handle you? [She's not trying to make things worse, the words come out before she can think the better of them. He's not the only one who finds it frustrating to hold back, and his lips teasing at her skin don't do much to make her want to slow down. One of them is going to have to hit the breaks eventually, but if it's going to have to be her, she's not ready yet.

His question should be met with solid rejection, but all she gives him is another kiss, a little deeper this time thanks to Killian waking her up completely with his decision to make himself comfortable on top of her. It's the heat that stalls her thinking, gets her stuck on this being good instead of it being too much. She pulls back just enough for her eyes to refocus, taking him in curiously (like she's not sure who's pushing who anymore) before her lips catch his again.]

( it's very much a sheriff's threat, only clearly the savior hasn't thought of all the ways he could be handled. he laughs a little, can't quite help himself, at her inquiry. fact is he'd probably quite enjoy being handled, yet there's a decent part of him aware there's only so far they'll go. as much as he wants this, wants her... he's not going to push farther than what she wants. when Emma is ready for sex, it'll happen, and not a moment sooner.

it's just that every time they get a little farther. it's like training for a marathon, really, he keeps pushing what she's capable of and when it's too much then they'll stop. one day he hopes there won't be anything holding them back, though he's not quite optimistic that today will be that day. it doesn't matter, he's happy to take what she's happy to give, and he'll survive another cold shower.

he should probably answer with something flirty, her comment makes it all too easy, and yet she kisses him and he decides he'd much rather focus on that instead. Emma is ever cognizant of his injury, Hook tends to just be cognizant of her in moments like this one. how with their bodies pressed together the rise and fall of her chest brings them closer, making the soft pull of her breathing go a little bit faster is his new favorite addiction. the way she looks at him between kisses is not very good on reminding him he's supposed to exhibit restraint, and luckily she kisses him again so he doesn't have to.

some might worry about morning breath, Captain Hook not so much. she tastes quite sweet to him just as she is, without the vibrant artificial mint she claims is called toothpaste. if he tries to steal a taste of her mouth onto his tongue, he's not terribly remorseful for it. he'd like to do a lot more than taste her, yet a part of him worries if he pulls his hand free to do anything more, he'll break the moment, and there's nothing he wants less than that. )

[When Emma stalls, it's not because she isn't interested. To a certain extent, she thinks Hook gets it, because he stops the second she asks him to and sometimes just before. They go as far as they can, but there's also the understanding that they have a relationship they're trying to build here. To someone who has spent over a decade trying to protect herself from caring for another person, the idea of having sex with a man she actually wants to be with is a lot to wrap her head around. It's not just sex, it's another step to move forward in their relationship, and she wants to be ready when they get there. She tries to have faith that all of this is going to work out, but usually waiting seems smarter than letting herself get carried away.

The first guy she ever cared about left her when she was pregnant with their son. She's not worried about the same thing happening with Killian, she's just trying to be careful. Sometimes it's hard enough not to run when she's disappointed without complicating their relationship with sex.

It's almost annoying, the way he makes all of this seem simple enough. Normally she'd brush it off; say he's a typical guy who isn't worried about anything but the moment, but he keeps his hands to himself and his lips where she's used to them, and she knows he's thinking more about her than the moment. He's been good about giving her what she needs, and right now that's just someone who lets her go at her own pace. It doesn't mean she's ready to stop yet, if anything she'd like to stay here and avoid the rest of the hotel for as long as possible, just without getting his hopes up.]

... Maybe a few more minutes.

[The words are barely spoken before she's chasing his lips in another kiss, following his taste of her with renewed interest, and since his hand won't wander without a little prompting, hers are quick to fumble for the last two buttons keeping his skirt on so that her hands can roam bare skin instead of worn fabric. It's not like it's much of a new development, he practically keeps his shirt open down to the waist as it is. Her going for it, though? That might be progress.]

( he does get it, at least, to a point. he knows that he's had a lot longer to wrap his mind around how he feels about her than she has. he's lived long enough to know that no matter how hard it is to carve a new place in his heart for someone new, no matter how it hurts when they slip in this dance or when someone makes a mistake (usually him), she's incredibly worth all the pain. he knows he doesn't want to be alone, and furthermore he knows he wants to be with her.

it isn't the easiest revelation, knowing Emma just isn't standing on the same playing field. she wants him, she cares about him; she doesn't love him. she's not sure he's worth traversing the pain of her past and she's far more hesitant than he is, so he waits for her, taking a step at a time and waiting until she follows up after him. he likes to think one day she could love him, even though he isn't her true love. he's broken enough to hope that just a normal sort of love might be enough.

he's broken enough to be content with whatever Emma can manage to give him, even if she can't finish the climb. he just wonders if that will be enough for her as well, and if he's honest, he's not sure it will be. he'll face that hill when they come to it.

his hand does wander without prompting on occasion, but he doesn't mind the hint all the same. he makes a noise that might have been a laugh before she kissed him, shifting forward to lean on his bad arm so he can free the good one. he's always wary to let her even see the bandage, because it never ends well... but he hopes that the touch of his hand will distract her. her hands on his chest feel delightful, it's just that he's greedy. he likes her touch, it's just that he might always want to touch her more. for all the skin he's explored there are lines he still has yet to cross. his palm slips up her side, fabric collecting at his wrist as he runs his thumb across the hollows of her ribs, a slow path that he doesn't allow to interrupt their kiss. apparently the pirate operates on the assumption if he gives her too multiple things to focus on, she'll neglect to notice the negative ones.

after all, who worries about his injured wrist as his tongue twines with hers and hand skates past her ribcage — fabric pulled high enough that he could enjoy the flat plane of her stomach if he looked. instead, his thumb traces the curve of her breast, just a hint before his hand curves over it. farthest he's ever managed to get before, at a decidedly leisurely pace, like that lessened the impact of the touch — and left her plenty of room to stop him if she wanted. she feels like velvet under the roughness of his palm, a comforting warm weight that most certainly makes it hard to remember he can only be so greedy, and the twirl of his thumb to tighten her nipple is just the tiniest bit spiteful.

he doesn't think he'll get to see her without her slim tank, but this way when he pulls back there will be a bit of proof of his progress. he's prick enough that he still enjoys those, even if that one in particular won't last longer than a few minutes. it's ridiculous how arousing the sharp peak of her nipple through the fabric would be, all things considered, but proof of how much she'd allowed him would certainly make the cold shower he's doomed to a little longer. )

[ The pirate operates on assumptions that are correct. She's easily distracted by having good things to feel, especially when she's gotten so used to the bad ones. With Gold's plan revealed, it's all a little clearer now. Ursula was brought to Storybrooke because of her history with Hook, not in some selfless attempt to give a villain a happy ending. Gold knew that if she had the chance, she'd go after Killian. He was counting on Ursula taking him away from her, not on Hook beating him at his own game by actually giving Ursula the happiness he'd taken all those years ago. He underestimated him. Emma's trying not to do the same, and for once, she's also trying to acknowledge that he matters to her.

Killian's right about a few things. She wants him, she cares about him; she's falling in love with him. It's happening back in Storybrooke and it's happening here. This is the wrong time and the wrong place, but that's not enough to get her to regret any of this. There are countless good things he's brought into her life, and she needs that now. She especially needs that here. So maybe it's wrong to call him greedy when she's the same, but he doesn't seem to be all that bothered by it, not when he's getting away with what he is.

And it's a lot, for them, but not more than she wants. She worries about his injured wrist, but not while his good hand is sliding across her body, pulling up fabric in a way that only leaves her warmer, skin hot under his touch and her nipples peaked from his attention. Emma doubts he's ever questioned whether or not she wants him, but she does manage to mumble her approval against his mouth, teeth scraping against his lip while she eases hers off of him and pulls at the hem of her tank top, pulling it up and off like that's just something they've always done, not more permission than he's ever had before. It's not a big deal, even if she knows he's inclined to turn it into one. She's not some blushing virgin, this isn't anything she hasn't done before.

Getting this far with him, though - that feels good. It's good enough for her to tip her head back to try to find his eyes again, just for the reassurance that they're not getting their wires crossed. She's not trying to tease him by doing things halfway, it's as frustrating for her as it is for him. It's not like she ever wants him any less, either. The second she breaks away from his lips, she wants hers back on him as soon as possible. It's a new dance for them, one she hasn't learned all of the steps to.

She has a good partner, she'll figure it out.]

( it's true, he's never doubted that she wants him. in the most superficial of ways, she's always found him attractive, and well, he is. he's not insecure, far from it, and the moments she looked at his mouth instead of his face or the way her body always seems to be angling back towards his whenever they talk tells him plenty. she wants him, and maybe if that was all it was, they would have gone a lot farther by now. if anything it's a good sign... even if it is a frustrating one. because he wants far more than for Emma just to want him. he's used to being wanted, in fact he'd argue most women do. he wants a place in that guarded heart of hers, and as much as he aches when she pushes him away once they've gone too far, well, it's worth it knowing that going at her speed helps prove to her that he wants more than the gorgeous body underneath him.

though, he's not complaining when she shifts back enough to pull what little fabric she has up and over her head. it's quite a big moment, and he does see it as one, yet she underestimates how badly he does want her. he's never really gone halfway with sex, never had a reason to. he's willing to do it with Emma to keep her comfortable, that doesn't mean it's easy. he's most certainly a sexual creature and he wants that with her quite desperately. he's lost for a moment in the flash of pale skin, tightened pink and soft curves, before he looks her back in the eye and their lips meet again.

he doesn't pull away from the kiss immediately, there's a call to it that he can't quite ignore, even as want starts to make him ache. more than ache, if he's honest, but well... he'll fix that for himself later. right now he's more than preoccupied with her, the fact there's so much skin he's never gotten to see before. maybe he should have tried to be content with touching, his palm never bothered to abandon the swell of her breast, yet if he sticks with content they might get stranded at a plateau and that is not a risk he wants to take.

so when he delays from her throat this time, scattering a few kisses across her jaw and down her throat, there is an obvious trajectory to it. the man that lived onehanded for centuries, the one unfortunately down a hand at his own foolishness, well, he's learned to use his mouth as a replacement for what he doesn't have. so pale eyes are intent on hers, both in a wicked need to make sure she's aware of who is touching her as his lips land at the hollow between her lungs, and enough caution to know when to stop if that's what she wants. )

Gorgeous. ( just so she knows; as if the look on his face isn't enough, when his attention drifts to her breasts. not overly large but quite beautiful. and they feel just about the same in his hand, and under his mouth as he experiments with kissing the same that is currently curled in his greedy palm. )

Edited 2015-04-28 07:09 (UTC)

[She doesn't need the confirmation of the single word he spares her. Emma understands physical attraction better than most things. It's what she fell back on for all those years she spent alone, looking for empty sex instead of someone she could care about enough to start something meaningful with. In a lot of ways, she's already used to disappointment. Her whole life has been a series of moments in which people let her down at the very second she started feeling safe enough to believe in them. Letting her guard down around him makes her feel more bare than the shirt she tossed to the floor, because he embraces the things about her that she's not always sure she knows how to accept for herself. If she's afraid of losing someone she believes in, then he has to be feeling it, too. The last week is proof of that.

He fell apart without her. Not because of her absence, since Emma doesn't give herself that much credit. She knows he was already starting to slip when she was there, but once the two of them started getting closer, it felt like things were on the upswing. They had something to help them through the darkness; a glimmer, a chance. If he lost control because he lost her, she's not ready to think about it. What Emma does believe is that she could definitely have stopped him. If she'd been there, if she'd been able to talk to him, if he'd realized he had someone who needed him. It's a thought she's not entirely comfortable with, but she's starting to understand that they find some strength in each other. If she's been different since she came back - more careful with his injuries, less likely to tug on his clothes to pull him close - that comes from a place of good intentions. It's hard to be herself when she knows he hasn't felt like himself.

And if there's one way to get Killian Jones to act like himself, it's to let him think he's getting away with something. She bites back a laugh at the way his eyes linger over her body, meeting with hers just long enough to let Emma know that this matters. It wouldn't with anyone else. A few months ago, it wouldn't have mattered with Killian, either. Things are different now. He's seen her through enough of her worst moments to earn an effort at making better ones.

Her fingers comb through his hair when he dips his head, her breath catching at the heat of eager lips on her skin. It's what she wants, exactly what she wants, something more than what they've had. Kissing him is always enough until there's more. It's good until she has his hand exploring her and his mouth wandering somewhere new. And then that's enough until it's not, because her hands skim low against his stomach, teasingly close when it's long past being a joke to her. Two words and he'd be off getting a shower, but she finds his name instead, letting it fall from her lips in a way that's full of want instead of warning. ]

( he knows the feeling, though honestly, it's never enough for him. he is understanding when she's hit her limit, yet he isn't sure he'll ever be content with kissing her or touching her or exploring her. he could spend the rest of their lives at it and never tire of her, he's absolutely certain. he doubts Emma would believe it if he told her, but it's the truth; when he's had so many women that didn't matter, so many nameless faces and beautiful bodies, and yet none of them drew him like Emma manages to. she was like a light that kept drawing him toward shore, every touch he had and every taste was never enough. he's not even sure crossing that final limit would be enough, in the end. just enough for awhile, and then he'd want her all over again.

he needs to make do with what she can give, and her slow kisses and gradual touches do give him quite a bit. he'll always crave for more, but she's worth the patience. if he's waited centuries for revenge, he can wait for Emma Swan to be ready to cross that final hurdle.

...probably.

she makes it hard when her palms drop low on his body, skirting muscle and edging toward the most obvious sign of his arousal, as if the look in his eyes and the draw of his lips wasn't enough. he mutters a groan but tries not to lead her farther than that, moving to run his tongue over her nipple and let his mouth curl over it for a moment before he switches to the other breast, like he expects the opportunity to be dragged away sooner rather than later. his hand gently kneads at flesh like he can memorize it if he just pays it enough attention, like he can perfectly remember the weight of her breast in his palm if he just has enough time to try. his body shifts against hers at her touch, but he's not likely to depart from the gift she's given him, especially not from the fingers pulling in his hair. he's always liked that sensation. )

[The only problem with testing her limits is not knowing where they actually are anymore. Most of the time, Emma is good with moving slow and not screwing this up by taking things too far. They have enough issues here without complicating their relationship before they're ready, and no one has to tell her that he's invested in this. If she wants to stop, all she has to do is say so. He'll hit the showers, no questions asked.

So yeah, she knows he'd go, but that's not what she wants. If she's honest, sometimes she doesn't know what she's waiting for. Perfect moments are usually few and far between, and in her life they're virtually nonexistent. If they keep waiting for the right time, it'll never happen.

It'll be like that date they almost never went on. Killian was right to argue that they couldn't put their lives on hold for disaster. Whether they're in the hotel or back home in Storybrooke, there's never any shortage of new threats. She's always had full control of this, but after everything she's been through, she's not sure that control is what she wants anymore. Right now, she just wants him closer.

There's just a hint of possessiveness in her touch, fingers skirting along the edge of his pants before she slips her hand flat to curve along the front, lips tilting up into a shameless smirk and her eyes flashing with interest when she feels where he's straining for her through the fabric. She's not teasing anymore, at least not in the way he's used to, and he should know it when she tugs one hand into his hair just hard enough to draw him in for another taste of his mouth, palming him through his pants before practiced fingers settle at his zipper with the intention of freeing him from the confines of his pants. He'll let her know if she's getting carried away, but her flushed, nearly bare body should've been his first clue. They don't do this, but they could.

She still has to say something about it, even as she's reaching for his good hand to guide it where she wants him now. He's good at following her lead, she doesn't think it's going to take much prompting.] Touch me.

( in general, he's the first to agree that they should take their moments. just because they're stuck in a gods forsaken place with so far no hint at escape, doesn't mean they should act as strangers. he's always got a good excuse for why they shouldn't regret when they fall together, and lately he hasn't even needed one. Emma comes to his bed or he finds her in hers and they don't need to justify why. if they need to wait for perfect peace to grow in their relationship, well, they might as well never start. there could always be a reason not to. he thinks the reasons they should outweigh the risk.

that applies to many things, yet even the pirate himself is a bit intimidated by the prospect of sex. not because he suspects it'd be bad; even kissing her can leave him aching, he doubts letting the sensation will be less if they go further, far from it. and yet he's terrified if they go too fast, what will happen after. hasn't it been their story, that he battles a bit closer and Emma lets him, for a moment. and then she gets frightened and pulls back. it's something he's learned to overcome, he keeps pushing and tries to reassure her and they get back to where they started sooner or later. sex, though, if it happened before she's ready to give it...

he's not sure that he could win her back after that. because sex is so much more than kissing when they say goodbye or holding her hand on the street or taking her on a date. he's not sure he could forgive himself if she pulled away with regret instead of confidence. he doesn't want to be that status quo she's so accustomed to. he wants to be better than that for her, and crossing a line in the heat of a moment before she's ready... well, that's absolutely not something that a man that loved her should do.

it's very difficult to remember all these things as she palms him through fabric. a groan that might have started as her name before it got tangled in her lips vibrates through both of them. she's never been quite so bold and yet he's not sure that means she's not teasing, necessarily. would have been very much like her to grin like the cat that got the canary to know how much he wanted her, and then succinctly send him off to shower, and yet instead she draws his palm down her body with a husky whisper of what she wants from him.

she's right that it doesn't take much prompting. he pulls a breath away, just for a moment, pale eyes skirting her features like he's trying her superpower on for size. if there was a hint of doubt, he'd know it. he sees nothing but desire. it might be a foolish idea, yet Emma rarely asks for things she doesn't want. so it doesn't take longer than seconds for him to sink past the last bit of fabric she has left to her name.

it's not as if it's really a surprise to find her aroused, but gods it's gorgeous to feel it. she's soft and wet silk under his fingers, and it's a delightful wonder to experience a part of her he's never been allowed before. he's hardly paying attention to the way she's trying to get him free of his trousers, committed only to kissing her as he traces slightly through her arousal, getting harder by the second as he does. his kisses get a little harder as he presses at the soft pulse of her arousal, wanting to feel her body shiver from it. ) Let me kiss you. ( it's whispered into her mouth, because he already is, so that means he wants to put his mouth somewhere else. she probably doesn't need to guess where. he doesn't need her to return the favor, but he's hungry for her to a point she's never enabled before. they'll both get release one way or another, even if his is from his own hand, but he hopes this is a limit she's willing to stretch because he wants to know what she tastes like. )

[Truthfully, she doesn't know what she's doing. None of this is planned; none of this was ever planned. Killian started off as a villain who she was trying to get away from, and just kept coming back. It didn't matter how many times she pushed him away or rolled her eyes at his persistence. He was there when she needed him and willing to wait until she started to want him around, too. Now when she thinks of her own happiness, it's a life that includes him in it. It's the home he brought her back to, the family she'd been separated from, the son she thinks of every day. She doesn't know how she would get through this without him, but she knows that so far, she hasn't had to. He's the one who thought he lost her, and while that's behind them, it's something he's still healing from.

It could be too soon, that thought might've very briefly crossed her mind. She doesn't want to screw this up any more than he does, but they've been moving forward. Back home, he told her that she was his happy ending and he was afraid of losing her. There are no guarantees that either one of them is going to end up happy, but they have plenty of time to figure out what all of this means to them. They'll never be happy in this place, but being with him is as close to it as she's going to get. Whenever they leave their room, they're only reminded of how miserable they are here. It's having him beside her that makes all of this a little more bearable, and if that means getting a late start at breakfast today, it's not the worst thing that could happen.

She could stay up here for hours just to hear him groan and stutter her name. A few seconds and the slow slide of his touch across her body and she nearly does the same thing, fingers working against his pants while she gasps against his mouth. They need this, they do. Destruction and violence don't seem to work here, so why not experiment with a form of release that doesn't involve taking their frustration out on inanimate objects? She can even guarantee a bruise or two, which might make this the healthiest option they have right now. Stress relief in the form of ignoring the rest of the world and focusing on each other.

Emma could use a million excuses to justify this, but the whole truth already exists in her eyes, dark with desire and a narrowing band of green. If she's supposed to act like she doesn't want it, she can't. She's through with giving in to her worst insecurities when it comes to him. He's had his opportunities to leave and used them to prove how willing he is to fight for her. She doesn't want him to feel like he's constantly fighting her on something they both want. This feels good, almost overwhelmingly so even with just a few careful fingers teasing her exactly like she asked.

It'd still be better if it was skin on skin, and her hands are working toward that exploration when he decides to take things a step further, his mouth growing insistent while writhes beneath him, seeking out more before he decides to let that take on a whole new meaning with what he asks for permission to do. It's not the way she thought a pirate would word it, and for that, Emma tilts her head just enough to break from his kiss, huffing a gentle breath against his lips.] You call that kissing?

[That's not what she calls it.

Still, she grins against his lips, lowering her head until her mouth is on his neck and she can distract him with a few actual kisses and the pull of her teeth. She's not always comfortable with what he's offering to do. Sometimes it's too intimate, or too awkward. There have been a few times it's been disappointing, but with the way her body shudders from the work of one very determined hand, she's betting that won't be the case with him. He's not like anyone else she's been with.]

Okay. . . kiss me. [If he needs to know she means it, she captures his lips in another languid kiss, licking into his mouth like they have all the time in the world. They do, but she still eases back and draws in a breath, fingers tracing patterns across his skin. If they are going down this road, they'll do it together - but she doesn't hate the idea of going first.]

( she's likely right to laugh. going down on her is a little bit more than kissing. it's an elegant way of putting something that is far more carnal, and suffice to say the pirate in him wouldn't call it that either. she always tends to draw out something in him that he hasn't been in centuries. he always claims to be a gentleman, he rarely bothers to really act like one. the phrasing suits... what he's asking to do, well, maybe not so much.

that breathless laugh, more like an exhale, is a painfully attractive little noise, now isn't it? the languid grin she gets in return is far more befitting the pirate. ) I'll start with kisses. ( what a gentleman! start with a few nice kisses... sucking and licking and tasting could come after.

she is doing a very bad job of distracting him with those kisses she splays over his skin. he mumbles a hopeless noise at the bite of her teeth, body pressing into hers a little more insistently, fingers pressing to match. no, her body language is not saying no... and neither does the whisper into another kiss. quite the opposite, actually. despite the boldness of the request (phrased sweetly or not), it was impossible to not think she'd refuse him. there's a distinct thrill up his spine at the permission. it's farther than they've ever gone, all of this is uncovered, uncertain ground... and if he's supposed to be thinking about if it's too soon, well, it's lost in the roar of how badly he wants her. hopefully she won't regret what she's allowing him when the heat of the moment surrounding it burns away.

his teeth catch at the swell of her lower lip, and it's very difficult to pull away from the patient sweetness of that kiss, the tempting curl of her tongue against his... yet he aches to taste another part of her, and now that she's given him explicit permission, well. he's not going to let the moment slip him by. he doesn't ask if she's sure, because Emma wouldn't have agreed to it if she wasn't. in fact, he's pretty certain asking her if she is sure after she's already given him permission will just end up with her taking it back again. Emma has a wonderful confidence in what she wants and what she likes, he's always admired that about her.

it hasn't translated to what she wants from him until just now, but he likes it just as much in his direction.

his hand slips to curl at her hip, a slightly wet grip from a few simple touches, and his dark head bows down her body to let his mouth travel down it. making up his promise already, a kiss to every inch of decadent skin, even though he has a clear trajectory. his teeth graze at her hipbone as he drags her underwear back, in a flash of pirate more than gentleman; maybe this will be easier for her if it's less a man that loves her and more a man that wants her desperately. (in the end, she's going to get both.) it takes them both to tug the fabric free and he only cares enough to get it off one leg, it's hooked carelessly at her knee and he can't be bothered to strip her completely. not when she's finally naked underneath him and she's bloody gorgeous — in a better moment he could just savor the way she looks, with the flush in her skin and the arousal in her eyes and her body.

today is not a better moment, because he thinks he might go a bit mad if he doesn't kiss her already. she might be feeling the same.

he draws her hip over his bad shoulder as he settles between her legs, and even in his impatience he manages a few kisses up the sensitive inner plane of her thigh. though his greediness might show in the lack of caution, the fact she might have a bit of a burn from the stubble on his face after this is over... oh, well. hopefully she'll forgive him. he runs a greedy palm over the flat of her stomach and the soft curve of her sex, teasing fingers tracing her like he'd forgotten what she felt like in the minute it's taken him to get here, eyes set on her face as he leans in to kiss her and gods, he might never come up again. the kiss is just for a moment, before his tongue is too determined to taste every inch of her he can find. )

[ He starts with kisses. Soft kisses, teasing kisses, something gentle coupled with the unintentional scrape of his stubble. Emma knows exactly what she's doing here, there's no need to ask again. She's aware of the intended path of his lips as they move down her body, and the careless way her underwear are left wrapped around one leg when he abandons his effort to remove them in order to continue his descent. It doesn't occur to her to be nervous about him seeing her like this, bare and wanting - aching - for the first time, but she's always had enough confidence to assume he'll like what he sees. The rest of it is harder for her to believe, because Emma has always been good enough to sleep with, but good enough to stick around for? Good enough to travel through worlds with? No one has ever done the things that Killian has for her. He's gone out of his way to make her feel like she's worth the trouble that chases after her like a shadow. A savior's shadow, maybe that's what it is.

They both know he rarely gets to follow her into anything good, and this hotel is just more of the same. This place has a way of making her feel useless, like nothing is ever going to happen no matter how hard she fights to get out. And maybe that's why it's become so important to stick close to Killian; to hover whether he likes it or not. They curl up in one of their beds and it helps, he seems better, more at peace here. There's nothing else here that she can influence in the slightest, but he draws her close and she holds on to him, and for a few hours at a time, she feels like she's helped someone.

It doesn't apply here or now, but when it does, it's something worth trying. This might be worth trying too, but that has nothing to do with the hotel or what might keep them together. If anything, this might make things worse.

Still, it's hard to imagine that this is anything but good when his lips brush the tender skin of her inner thighs, like he's afraid he might miss the opportunity to pull some reaction from her before he puts his mouth where he wants it. He teases with the knowledge of what he's about to do, where he wants to go, and for as long as he's been waiting for the opportunity to do this, she can't even claim that it isn't fair. How many times has she sent him into the shower instead of enjoying this the way she wanted to? She would grumble some kind of demand but that might say too much, and in reality it's probably only seconds that just happen to feel like forever before his fingers resume their path.

It's not that she never thought this would happen, more that she never wanted it to have to happen here. If nothing else, this has become their bed instead of her bed, and there's not much chance of interruption. The fact that the pirate's crawled halfway down it puts him in position for her to lift her leg over his shoulder, and if not for the way he's nuzzled between her thighs, she might be more careful with his bad shoulder. She can't seem to remember much of anything when he starts using his tongue, laving against a spot that earns the groan building in the back of her throat and the softened, heated focus of her eyes.

One hand slides into his hair just to be able to touch him, to have some kind of hold on him in all of this, not quite tugging, but curling into a grip that allows for the bite of her fingers against his scalp. It's a wordless demand for more, for anything and everything he's willing to give her. If she'd known it was going to feel like this she might've given in sooner. She's never seen Killian do anything without throwing his whole self into it, and those first few strokes of his tongue might be slow enough to savor her, but they're just enough to get her wondering exactly how much quiet she's supposed to be here.

Silence was never going to happen, and quiet's not even guaranteed. He's determined to take more and she's desperate for it, tension instantly tugging at her stomach while her eyes close for a second or two before she realizes just how badly she needs to watch him.]

( if she needs the confidence in helping someone, well, the savior has always been that for him. she may not see herself as the light he has followed from his own encroaching darkness to find shore, in fact he doubts she does; he doesn't remember confessions about happy endings and the fear he'll lose her because of what he's been, he has no idea he's put words to the things she makes him feel. he thinks it would terrify her, and honestly, maybe it did.

doesn't make it untrue, though. before her, he was a monster, without her, he goes back to being lost. having her near, being able to take her in his arms and fall asleep with the sallow comfort that they still have each other, for however long this place will grant them; it does help him. one of an infinite spread of ways Emma helps guide him to be better, just by being who she is.

he even thinks this is better, just because of everything between them. he's existed so long on empty sex that it holds little shine for him anymore. there's heat and spark between them, yes, but there's emotion too. he can't chase it out of his touch even if he wanted to, and honestly? the first time he gets to touch her, even being a greedy git, he doesn't want to. she'll get lust and love in equal measure, but luckily with his mouth busy and his tongue twirling around something quite far from words, she won't have to wrestle with that idea today.

he's not considering his bad arm, doesn't mind when one leg matches the first. and he's also not thinking about how they likely should attempt some modicum of reservation, mumbling a noise of approval at the hint of her nails against his scalp, pressing his mouth to her even more hungrily in reward. the vibration seems to echo through both of them, and he loves how she quivers under his touch, the soft noises she's making. it all just drives him harder, makes him want her even more. honestly, that shouldn't even be possible, and yet here they are.

for once, he's not aware of being spectated. for his heated glances before, no, now his eyes are closed, or very intent on his work. he thinks every inch of her is beautiful, down to the most intimate part of her, and well, he's going to relish his time here just in case he doesn't get another shot any time soon. he frees his hand from an unconsciously tight grip at her leg, crossing that final barrier and letting a few fingers sink inside of her, his own arousal nearly painful at the feeling of her tight and vibrantly hot around his fingers. they've never talked about it, but her body reads this is the first time she's had someone inside of her in some time, and he wants to make sure he's more impressive than the last. his fingers don't mean his tongue is going to stall, though. oh, certainly not.

hopefully she doesn't mind both. he said he'd start with kisses, not that he'd only stick to them. )

[That promise of kisses completely slips her mind when he gives her more, not just his tongue but his fingers too, her chest heaving upwards with another needy intake of air. It's been a while since anyone's done this for Emma, and years since it meant anything to her. Still, it's so easy to recognize the difference now, between what she's used to and what she has with him.

Killian sees himself as a villain, but she sees a man who deserves more than her usual uncertainty. She's never not wanted this, but it's a step that brings them closer than stolen kisses and letting him put his arm around her at breakfast. He used to take whatever he could get, whether that was a one-time kiss or a chance to invade her space when she was trying to sort out what Storybrooke needed from her. What he has now is someone who is completely with him in wanting this.

She can't pretend it's just sex, or a moment of weakness. It's not weakness that he brings out in her, it's strength. Sometimes it's for him, sometimes it's because of him, but he betters her in ways she never saw coming. There are plenty of things that she doesn't know how to say, things she used to be afraid to feel, bits and pieces of a broken heart that suddenly seem to function again. Isn't that what he said back in Storybrooke? If it's broken, that means it still works.

They're all a little bit broken here, but he finds ways to let her know he's with her. She's gotten used to waking up beside him, and she could get used to this too; to intimate moments that have her thinking about him instead of everything that's wrong here, watching while he pulls new sounds from her with dedication, tongue and fingers unrelenting in their effort to bring her pleasure.

If there's anything about this that's going to come back to bite her, it's how often she's going to relive this now that they've gone this far. It's not enough to have her moaning and writhing beneath him, fingers tugging into his hair when she realizes he likes it. He just keeps pushing his luck, taking her a little higher with the way he licks, sucks, and fills her with his touch, like he needs this to be memorable when it already is.

All Emma can do is give in, easing back so that her head is pressed against the mattress, one foot sliding against his shoulder until the arch of her heel is flat against his skin, toes clenching and her hips shifting to take more. Her spine curves to match the way her legs are bent around him, chasing sparks that are quickly roaring into a fire. He didn't even have to try this hard if he was trying to prove himself, she was already there.

She already knows it's not just lust that drives him. There's more than that there, and maybe she can handle that too, because that might be what makes this different. Nothing compares to being with someone who truly matters to her, who she trusts, and cares for, and feels herself drawn to even when she's at her worst. For a woman who spent so much time chasing after the wrong thing because it was easier than risking the hurt of a good thing, this might be exactly what she needed.

And if it's not, if it ends up being awkward or uncomfortable, then she'll brave that later for how overwhelmingly good this is in a place where everything else sucks.]

( truly, it's unfair how many sensations this draws out in him. it's maddening and overwhelming, and as desperately as he wants to memorize and savor each one, he's not sure it's possible. should he commit to the taste of her on his tongue, or the blessed sounds she makes — the slide of her skin on his, from her thighs pressed close to his ears or the flat of her foot running down his back. he'd appreciate that gorgeous bend of her spine if he had any mind to notice, instead he just appreciates how the curve brings her closer. he'd like to be aware of every last one, and instead they all twine into one perfect creation and it's impossible to really separate one from the next. not even if he might have liked to, and truly there's something to treasure in every part of this. maybe he'd have liked to.

he's too distracted in everything to remember that he's supposed to keep his bad hand off of her, and bandaged and all, it falls on smooth path of her stomach, and even though feeling isn't much returned yet (except for pain) he can feel the heat of her skin and the oddest tingle under his fingers. he can't press and he can't hold yet it's just another way to touch her and he hopes she won't deprive him of it.

for all his desires to be with her, and his certainty that she will be his happiness if he will ever find any, he'd honestly have thought it was a joke if she told him he made her better. no, that surely doesn't make any sense. Emma is the savior, a hero. he may have turned from villainy yet that doesn't erase the blood on his hands or the darkness in his heart. he can't make her better, it's a grim realization. a better man would let her go, knowing he isn't her true love. her meant to be. she might be his happiness, but is he really hers? sometimes he wonders. perhaps he'll always wonder.

he might not be her happy ending, he might not be her true love, but he loves her and he wants her and he would do anything for her. it might not be enough forever, yet it seems to be enough right now. if the way her body reacts is any indication.

Hook isn't too worried in the moment that this will ruin them, though such fears have held him back every moment until now. if she pulls away from him, well... it's not that he won't expect it. yet he hopes that they're at this moment because she's just as ready for it as he is. he desperately wants her to be. right now, all he can focus on is trying to find her release, and it seems to be a task he's very dedicated to. not quite selflessly, considering he strains against his trousers with how much this act turns him on, yet dedicated, certainly. it's true, there's very little in this place to look forward to or to find much joy in, and if he can give her this one thing, well, he'll be here all day if that's what it takes.

considering the way her noises escalate and her body quivers and tightens, it probably won't take all day. rather a shame, that...

she'll have to forgive his pace slowing, a little, as he feels her draw nearer to the edge. perhaps he should have eaten her out like a man deprived for centuries the entire time to truly sell that this was sex and not something that needed to alarm her, and yet he pads out his kiss with more luxuriating curls of his tongue, breath heavy as he tries to write his name into her like that might make her his. his fingers move inside of her and curve to explore, coaxing her farther and farther, wanting to feel the etching of her orgasm in every way he could possibly experience it.

...well, not every way, but. there's something quite remarkable about a woman breaking on his tongue, and he thinks it'll be even more remarkable with her. )

[ A man deprived for centuries might have been more familiar than the one who slows down to keep her wanting, to drag this out instead of rushing her to a peak that she already knows isn't far. Leave it to Killian to be too invested to rush her through it; if she had been expecting anything maybe she would have been expecting that. He never goes for the least he can do, and with her, he seems to go above and beyond.

She can barely breathe the way she's supposed to when she's nearly trembling under the heat of his tongue, breath catching and then coming out in deeper exhales. He can't have every way he'd want to feel this here, but that might be the one thing she still isn't ready for. The one thing that probably shouldn't happen in a hotel.

Then again, she thought this wouldn't happen either. She thought they'd get out of here in a few weeks and end up picking things up back in Storybrooke. There was never much of a plan for their relationship, only possibilities. If things went well, then they'd keep seeing each other. if he decided to stick around, maybe she'd let him closer. In her memories it all feels like it happened, but she can't say the same of his. He doesn't know what their relationship would have been like if they'd gone back, but Emma does.

She knows that it doesn't matter what world the two of them end up in, they always seem to find their way back to each other. There's some kind of comfort in knowing that, especially with how rarely everything else makes sense here. The hotel can try to separate them, but it won't matter. They have something they're both willing to fight for.

And if they think they're going to take him away from her, they've got another think coming. Emma's lost too much to add him to the list.

She's briefly aware of the touch of his bandaged hand, but that isn't the kind of thing she's going to be making demands about when she's already decorating his given name with enough swears to make her sound like as much of a pirate as he is. He can't use that hand to hold her down, and she can't keep herself still, rocking into the thrusts of his fingers and the swipe of his tongue. She's probably the one who should be more careful with him, but any kind of rational thought went out the window when Killian asked to kiss her, and the tension building inside her makes it all a lost cause.

She reaches for purchase where she can, clawing at the sheets, his hair, anything to give her something to hold on to. How long has it been since she's had an orgasm from someone else's touch? Two fingers and she feels full, nearly complete with the way he lets this build and makes it last. Her moans, her breath, his name, anything that falls from her lips is rough and ragged, skin too warm and damp with perspiration, her thighs flexing on either side of him when the tension builds to it's breaking point.

It's so much heat, warm and brilliant, waves of pleasure that send her crashing through her orgasm, shuddering beneath him while she calls out his name like that'll make this last. For a fairytale savior, a few moments of pure relief and just letting go are worth everything and thensome, and even when she eases her hold on his hair, she still gives him the quickest tug of a warning. That's all, maybe more than she can take.

And even with what she was expecting, better than that.]

( no, he doesn't remember all the things she does. for all they've talked about her experiencing during her time away, the things between them somehow didn't come up. he doesn't remember the way they drew closer after Rumpelstiltskin was removed from Storybrooke, he doesn't remember the valuable bits and pieces of herself she shared with him while Ingrid was threatening the town, he doesn't remember meeting to trade coffee and a kiss nearly every morning before he sets off to work on freeing faeries he doesn't remember trapping. this isn't exactly the path they're meant to take, according to her memories, but for all the horrors in this place, Emma is the one thing he thinks he's doing right here.

the truth about his hand unravelled quickly, and he's tried to be honest with her since. he makes missteps on occasion, not letting her in when she's trying, assuming she'll see the worst because sometimes, that's all he can see in himself. they've found an unlikely balance, they give each other some sort of comfort and reassurance that little else can give here. it's not an ideal place for them to get closer and yet in a way, they've always found their strength against adversity. it's just that this time, they don't have to face it alone.

his choice to draw her out longer, keep that flame burning instead of letting it sizzle to completion, earns him more reaction that he'd ever have expected out of Emma Swan. she is so determined to keep control, protect herself by keeping most of her reactions to herself. the rare times he really sees her weaknesses, it's generally due to being too overwhelmed to moderate them, though lately Emma has made the willful choice to let him see his weaknesses. if anything that just makes him more determined, giving her an ending but drawing it out to keep her at this beautiful state of passion. there's no way she's thinking about being trapped or the dangers of this place when she's carnally curved to his touch, the gasps and swears and mutters of his name a gorgeous song that he'll be thinking of frequently now that he's heard it. a part of him doesn't want it to be over, but that isn't quite possible. isn't possible for anyone, including a savior.

when she finally hits the edge, it's brilliant sensation, muscles twitching and the pulsing reward from his attentions under his mouth and tightening around his fingers. he makes a ragged sound because gods it's beautiful and honestly a little painful, because as much as he wants to make this about her and her pleasure, he wants her so badly he quite literally aches with it. she tugs at his hair, a wordless hint, and somehow he understands what it means without asking. they do have their moments of understanding, don't they.

he slides his fingers back slowly, crawls back up her body to rest on top of her, body pressing down against hers as his head lands just above her navel. his arms tuck around her without thinking, and it might have hurt if his attentions weren't scattered to everything else about this moment. his mouth is still hot as he kisses the skin underneath him, just wanting to hold onto her as she melts into the blankets. his eyes are shut, trying to will himself down and just enjoy a chance to hold her and be close to her. there's something about the afterglow, and he's missed being able to hold a woman he loves in the haze of completion. sure, only one of them has it, but they're halfway there. and the fact she gave him that freedom means a great deal. he's not asking for more.

he can be content with just this. )

[ Halfway there, and he doesn't have to ask for more. She never considered this being one-sided, but Emma steals a little time to come down from the high, sinking into the mattress with her hands coming up around him and her eyes closed. Breath comes out in soft, steady pants and her touch eases from the tug of her fingers through his hair to her hand stroking through it. She doesn't want to be the only one who gets off this morning, and her interest doesn't stem from any kind of obligation. If it did, she'd be planning her escape instead of wondering if she could push him over without hurting the hand he's slipped around her. It's surprisingly nice to be able to enjoy this with him, and while she's content with this, she's also looking forward to what comes next.

That's saying something in and of itself, because she rarely looks forward to what she has in mind right now. Though that's her past talking more than her present, since she's never done any of this with Killian. Most things are just different with him, and she's not afraid to recognize that. It'd be harder to admit it out loud, but when she can keep her thoughts to herself and still have him curled up on top of her, all of this feels manageable. It's probably just the orgasm talking, anyway.

It won't be until those thoughts come back later (when they're in a completely different situation) that Emma might get nervous again. Old habits are hard to shake, she can't help it.

If nothing else, he has to know that this isn't anything like what she's used to. They've both had enough casual sex to know that it doesn't end in two people holding each other. That's a level of intimacy she never thought she'd want again, but all of her nevers seem to have pirate exceptions now.]

That was a hell of a lot more than a kiss.

[It doesn't matter how overwhelmed she is by what she's feeling, Emma still finds it in her to giggle at how he framed that. A kiss. For all of the fairytale talk about the power of true love's kiss, there's probably something to be said for his version of it, too. She opens her eyes and lifts her head, propping herself up on one elbow just enough to look down at him, warmth and amusement and lingering want in her eyes. As far as she's concerned, they've gone too far to stop now. And it wouldn't be so bad to steal a page from his book and offer it up the same way he explained it to her, would it?]

Now roll over and let me kiss you.

[He's barely undressed, why didn't she notice until now? It seems unfair to Emma that she's the one completely naked in this scenario, but instead of reaching for anything to cover her, she'd rather even things out by getting the clothes he still sleeps in off of him. She's the one who cut back on that first, spending most nights curled up in his bed in a tank top and a pair of underwear. When it comes to her body, the savior has plenty of confidence.

Now that she's undressed, she might stay this way until it's time to head down for breakfast. He's already seen everything, right?

The proof is in how she feels right now. Nothing's changed outside of this room, but somehow, she feels a little lighter. She wants that for Killian, too. Wants to be the reason why he falls apart under her, wants him to feel like all of this was worth the wait. It was, in her opinion.

She'd like to get him there, too.]

( a lot of things seem more manageable after an orgasm, funny how that works. he wasn't trying to use oral sex to make her forget how unnerving it is to be taking a leap of faith emotionally after both of them have spent far too long alone. no, the idea was more to make her forget the stress of the hotel for a little while, and he hopes that he was at least successful for as long as it takes for her to come down from her orgasm. stolen cuddles can't be that alarming, can they? they've done this (with a great deal more clothes) before, more or less... though there's a wonderful intimacy to it now that he's resting on top of her, the taste of her on his tongue, feeling as she slowly climbs down from the high.

it's long enough that he's less aching with arousal. no longer blindly painful. Emma really doesn't need to worry about both of them getting off — whether she touches him or not, there's no doubt he'll fix his own problem when he makes it to the shower. and with the delightful chorus of noises and the decadent display of skin he has to aide his imagination, she'll truly be there in spirit. he'd rather hold her than wheedle for more. if going down on her was greedy than surely asking she return the favor is out of the question. there's something very comforting about her warm and pliant underneath him, fingers in his hair. the fingers that still have the ability to ambulate trace idle patterns into the skin of her shoulder, and he doesn't move until he feels her shifting underneath him.

his head lolls onto her stomach rather lazily to catch her eye. he's not sure he's ever heard Emma Swan giggle before, but now that he has he'll try. the grin he parries back is half boyish, half cad. ) An extended kiss. ( better? no? he chuckles at his own phrasing, because the laughter is due, kissing her stomach a few more times because he suspects this is the part where he's going to get his orders to head to the shower.

that's not what he gets.

a brow lifts — the pirate and his eyebrows, they seem to constantly be exercised — and he watches her for a moment, as if he's waiting for a punchline that never comes. a better man might protest, wonder if this is the best idea, slow and steady wins the race. apparently he's not that good. he eases the bad arm out from under her with the slightest of winces, before rolling off her and shifting high enough that he can bury fingers in her hair and draw her down for an actual kiss. oh, he knows that isn't what she means, but he wants to kiss her anyway. she tastes quite good, and he's willing to share. )

[An extended kiss is what he gives Emma when he pulls her close, letting her taste herself on his lips. She's sure he's heard her giggle before, but maybe it was in that stretch of time that he can't remember, because this isn't the happiest they've been. They had more peace at home, getting coffee in the mornings and walking to work together. It wasn't as intimate to share lunch at the station or meet up at Granny's for dinner, but those are the moments Emma would like to share with him now, preferably with her own place where he could stay the night and wake up beside her in her own bed. There's no reason why they can't have this back home, and now that they've taken that next step, she almost wonders what she was waiting for.

... For something better, if they could have had it. That perfect scenario where they were home and they had their lives back. But he's the one who likes to remind her that happily ever after is complicated, and while she doesn't see him as a villain anymore, she also doesn't expect the way out to fall into her lap anytime soon. Trapped here, the time they spend with each other is just about the only good thing they have left. It makes sense to cling to it, to keep him close. The kissing doesn't exactly fit with things that make sense, yet she's not too concerned. - Not when he's stealing the real thing and presumably ready for the extended version. Is that what they're going to call this now?

She could probably get used to it.]

Feels like you could use one of those. [Her smile was softer before, but it's wicked now, warmth in her eyes sharpening from relief to excitement. She's glad that he seemed to enjoy himself, there's just this matter of balancing things out now. Her clothes are scattered on either side of the bed, but his are still covering his body, and if he expects her to stay naked, it's time for the pirate to join in. Emma's all too happy to help, distracting him with actual kisses against his lips, his jaw, his neck; just about anywhere she can get them provided that she can pull his open shirt off of his shoulders and guide it down his arms. His bad hand always brings out her gentle side, and when the fabric is low enough on his arms for her to show caution, she does, letting him help her while her lips wander where she can feel the throb of his pulse.

Killian took his time, she's considering taking hers. She's also working toward taking him out of his pants.

There's more skin to roam, to mark, and while she didn't originally set out to claim him, she doubts he'd mind a few reminders he can cover up with his discarded shirt. She knows he's had more than enough bruises since arriving at the hotel, but going off of the numbers alone, what's a few more?]

( no, he doesn't remember those quiet moments they used to share. that doesn't mean he doesn't want them, though. he's a rather atrocious pirate, all things considered. Killian Jones has traveled worlds, sailed to many beautiful places, lived more than one life at this point. was it really so odd that he wanted something a little more secure? he'd lived so long with no roots and no connections. now all he wanted was to make those with the woman he loved. it was slow going, yet worth it. every step of the way. he wanted quiet meals and easy dates and walking her to work just as much as he wanted intimacy. call him greedy, but he wanted everything she had to offer.

which makes it easy to accept her offer of a kiss of her own. he tended towards calculating at the best and worst of times. as long as emotion didn't sink through his better sense, he was generally quite cautious. as it was now, it seemed he had no hope of being sensible, worrying that this might be too much, when he was so blinded by desire. Emma probably could have suggested trying to lop off his other hand and at the moment he might have let her. she wouldn't offer if she were not confident, would she? and that wicked quirk of her lips didn't seem to be a creature with a great deal of lingering doubts.

it was good that one of them still was capable of being careful. he'd have ripped his shirt straight off, and that wasn't wise when he only had a few in the hotel. not to mention the injured wrist that her touch carefully skated over. he was only half-heartedly attempting to assist, more interested in trying to to draw her back into his lap, terribly impractical when it came to taking his pants off. he might have forgotten he was even wearing them, if they weren't so dreadfully tight at the moment. leather was lovely up until he was aroused, and then it was downright beastly.

it wasn't the most comfortable of things to sleep in, it was just the man didn't actually have pajamas and sleeping naked next to Emma wouldn't have flown very far. perhaps that was bound to change after this. he certainly didn't see any need to wear a shirt any longer at the very least... she was welcome to do the same, he'd bear no complaint.

he tries to return the favor of all the roaming kisses, to the best of his ability. harder when she was so set on stripping him and exploring skin she hasn't seen before. it does seem fair to let her have a chance at it, when he greedily took advantage of exploring her body earlier, even if it only proves to set his frustration another level higher. Emma's exactly right that the pirate won't mind a mark or two, though he finds it a bit ironic. as if he needs a bit of purple to mark him as hers, when her name may as well be scrawled across his blacked old heart. )

If I didn't know better— ( his voice clips a bit at another graze of her teeth, his hand tucking into messy blonde as it always seems to. he can't keep his hand out of her hair, has never bothered to try. ) —I'd worry this was a hint you were missing breakfast.

( all the nips indicated some kind of hunger, but perhaps not for food. not that Emma would lack that, either. chances were good the pirate would go fetch her breakfast so she wouldn't have to leave bed for a little longer. if it meant Emma would be naked in his bed, he'd be happy to. )

[It's possible that they might be able to make some changes to their nightly routine going forward. What Emma wears to bed has shifted from jeans, boots, and layers to just enough to stay covered. Since he's not going to be wearing a shirt, she might claim one of his overnight and see where all of this takes them.

If leather's a bitch to sleep in, it's even worse to get him out of, and the way he tries to keep her close doesn't help. She can't be on his lap and take off his pants at the same time, no matter how eager he is to see if he can have it both ways. At least Hook gets a distracted laugh for whatever he's trying to get out of her, and the pull of her teeth to remind him just to let her do this. If things were different, maybe he'd have his way and she would be on top of him instead of peeling the leather off of him, but even if Emma was ready and willing to go for it, they don't have what they need to be safe. The risks they take here need to involve getting home, not giving in to impulse. There's a good chance she wants this as much as he does, but they have to be smart about it.

As smart as two people can be when they get one meal a day and they're currently missing breakfast. Somehow, she thinks they'll survive.]

Should we break for pancakes? [If he didn't know that was a joke, he should by the time her fingers wrap around his cock, exploring with her touch while her lips press to his good shoulder. She can want this and still be a little out of practice, the pad of her thumb brushing across the tip of his dick, letting him twitch and grow harder still in her hand. It's easy enough to start like that, just the swirl of her thumb and the stroke of her hand, but Emma's as greedy as he is when it comes to wanting more. He wants kisses? She's happy to take her turn crawling down the bed, but she's not nearly as interested in making this come off as something as simple as kissing. They've been doing that for months. It still does plenty to her heart when he leans in for a kiss, but it's not the same as wanting to take something that used to be empty and allowing it to be meaningful again.

This is different. It's something he's had to work toward, and for that alone, she'd like to think she might be able to make it worth it. He's waited long enough that Emma doesn't waste any more time, starting with the slow, wet tease of her tongue along his length, one hand sliding against his thigh while the other keeps him in her grip. She's aware of his reactions, knowing he's still healing from what he's been through, and that's at least one of the reasons why her eyes wander up to check on him, her tongue rolling steadily along the head of his cock in soft, slick strokes. If there's any benefit to letting her come first, it's that some of the urgency's gone. She's not going to rush through the first time they do this, even if she could make quick work of him here. He deserves a chance to unravel like she did, and that starts with her wetting her lips and easing them against him, parted enough that they drag against his cock when she takes him into her mouth.]

( if he likes the look of her in the undershirt she wears under whatever excessive layers she's fancying at the time, he'll certainly like the look of her in his shirt just a little bit more. there's not anything of his that Emma isn't welcome to, it's just that his clothing is far easier to share. his thoughts, well, that is still difficult very frequently. he's working on getting better at it, though. no secrets, anymore; a relationship not based on honesty is not a relationship at all.

he knows what her intentions are, he does, and yet he's hopeful to get more out of this. not necessarily penetration, either, even though his understanding of protection is far from hers. he is dementedly hard, and yet if he had a naked savior in his lap he's fairly sure he could hold out a bit longer. kiss more of her, enjoy this a little longer. as it is she laughs at him, a rather sexy laugh granted yet a bit of a a refusal all the same, fingers hooking to drag the leather free. he lifts his hips to help it free, shifting to rest his shoulders against the headboard, sitting up instead of laying back. oh, he could have, if he wanted to... but the fact that he knows what she wants out of him means he wants to watch her as she does it. laying back would make that harder. sitting up makes the process a little more difficult for her, and yet in the attempt to make this intimate instead of just release... watching her is a big part of that for him.

he hardly knows what pancakes are the moment she curls her fingers around his dick. if he's expected to be clever, she'll be disappointed. instead her name falls from him, two broken syllables; Em-ma. that's about as clever as he's going to get, rapt with her touch and she's barely even trying to set him off. all right, well, maybe he's worse off than he even allowed himself to realize... or might be that her touch effects him far more than his own does. he's just hopeless enough to think that's so, true love or no.

he almost doesn't know what to expect from her. if she wants to explore, if she's testing her own boundaries as well as his. there's a confidence in her actions that is incredibly familiar, and it's even more effortlessly sexy to him when her palm is curled around his cock. he's not vocal in bed, not that Emma knows that, but it's been a very long time since he's experienced what she's giving him. knowing it's her, knowing how he feels about her, just compounds everything in the most beautiful way.

his wrist still is healing, yes, yet his head seems better than it's been in weeks. he has a clarity and a focus now, that he hadn't had before. she doesn't need to worry over whether his body can take her attentions. it can, most certainly. his good hand digs in her hair, dragging it out of her face and over her shoulder as she licks and savors and gods, he's not sure how he waited this long. yes it was the right thing to do, but suddenly he's not sure how he's existed this long without sex. Emma might not realize she's inspiring a monster. once is never enough for a pirate. once was really never enough for Killian Jones, either.

for being a pirate, his vocabulary was generally not that dirty. so the curse he exhales, learned in her world (and maybe from the sheriff herself) and not his own, is perhaps a surprise, but if anything deserves a fuck, it's the way she feels with her mouth wrapped around his cock. his fingers tighten in her hair and he doesn't mean to pull, he just can't quite help it. his grip might be tight but it isn't leading; if he knows anything about Emma, it's that she wants to make her own path. and if he's honest, he wants to know how she'll take him, how she wants this to happen. any way she likes will suit him more than fine, considering how blessedly wonderful it feels to have her tongue pressed against him, her lips a welcome embrace. )

[That's a word he learned from her.

Pride kicks in at the thought of teaching him some of her bad habits, not just picking up bits and pieces of the pirate life from him. They've learned a few things from each other, and at this point it's hard to tell the good things from the bad. Most of the time it all blends together the way it's supposed to; the way two people in a relationship are supposed to influence each other. He's changed her whether he knows it or not, given her a reason to let someone into her heart again without the immediate fear that it'll all go to hell. It still can, and for all she knows, maybe it still will, but it won't be because he chose to cut and run. They've worked too hard for what they have now.

So she's not going to worry about how this might change their relationship, because the only way it's going to change anything is for the better. All they have is time to figure this out, and nowhere to run if some of her bolting instincts kick in. It's true that there's nothing good about being trapped here, that she would choose for him to be safe before she dragged him into anything like this, but with all of the darkness that surrounds them every day, giving in to one type of temptation might be enough to keep her from giving in to the rest of it. She can't run away from him anymore, and even if she could, she's in this by choice.

There's plenty to learn here, too, particularly when those soft lips slide over him and and his grip tightens in her hair. He doesn't have to be vocal in bed for her to know that he needs this, and not just the one time, either. There's the instinctive need to urge him deeper, slender fingers taking the rest of him with her touch. He's right to think that she wants to do this her own way, but her way involves seeing what he likes, what makes him pull on her hair, what gets him to close his eyes when they both know he wants to watch. Killian doesn't inspire the same treatment as a one night stand, there's nothing hurried or mechanical about the heat burning in her eyes while she has him at her mercy, no pre-determined path for the drag of her tongue while she slips him between her lips. They can make time to lay around and enjoy the afterglow later, first there's this matter of kissing the pirate that Emma needs to follow through on.

And she's blatantly committed to this, possibly even a little smug about it when she sees what she's capable of doing to him. Avoiding intimacy was great when she was coming off of heartbreak and too deep into denial to let anything happen between the two of them. Lately, she's found that her instincts tell her to do the opposite; to let him into her life, to keep him close, make sure he knows that he has a place there. Emma's not sure how far she's getting with that when there have been so many setbacks along the way. He's as bad as she is when it comes to their insecurities, but she's always known he wants her. It just seemed easier to discount that as empty attraction, as him being a pirate, than to think he wanted the role he has now. He fought his way into it, past every one of her defenses, and yeah - she likes that he's the defenseless one for a change.

She likes the sounds he's making while she's sucking him off, fingers reaching everywhere her mouth hasn't gotten to while she sets her pace. Slow enough to drag this out, quick enough for him to know that she's enjoying herself, too, using her tongue and her lips and the heat of her mouth. It's enough to get warmth racing through her veins again, and there's a confidence to be found in her movements when she feels the slight rock of his hips, unintentional and quickly restrained. If she's supposed to take that as anything less than encouragement, then he doesn't know her half as well as he thinks she does.

So when she hums her content, she does it right around his dick.]

( she's taught him a little more than just a few expletives, that's for certain. she's taught him how to get back toward a path that's straight instead of crooked. she reminds him to make the right choices, even though they're hard. she's shown him how to be good again, even though it's very true he's not exactly graceful at it yet. compared to that man she met under a pile of bodies and the one she left at the top of a beanstalk, he's changed a great deal, and all of those changes do have her as a motivation. not just to be with her, either; she'd told him once that he could be a part of something, that he could have a place, and he wants nothing more than that. he's working to earn it, and it was only later that he's learned that he wants more than just a place.

he wants a place with her. call him demanding, but he's willing to fight for what he wants. wait as long as he needs to. he's existed so long on his own and not wanting anything aside from a death satisfied by revenge. now he wants home, a place, someone that matters to him... all things that Emma has reminded him that he used to want a very long time ago.

it's true, he's not going to run. he's spent a lifetime running, and now he wants nothing more than to hold still and slow down. he's tried existing without her and he knows that's not a life he wants any longer. the hotel has only punctuated how true that is. so if this changes anything, they'll find an answer. they always do. their fears tend to be their highest hurdles yet Emma has reminded him they're worth making. if she can make those reminders to work when it's easier to give up, then he can too.

he hopes she's not going to regret this. gods, nothing about that look in her eye as she lets him sink sinfully deep in her mouth doesn't scream regret, now does it? no, she looks like she knows exactly what she's doing and even more she's devilishly pleased by how lost he is to her. ironic, really, because he's been showing her all the ways he's lost to Emma Swan for more than a year, now, and usually they seem to scare her more than anything. still, if she wants to be proud of this, bloody hell, she should be. he's done this before, to the point honestly getting head is a bit dull. yes, it feels nice, but it's more exciting to explore someone new. what he likes never changes, he preferred the thrill of earning orgasm from a woman. men tended to be easy to please, for women finding the right spots and the right speed and touches was always different, with every partner he's had. and Emma seems to be taking the same intent explorative quality to getting him off, when really she could have finished him just as easily with her palm if she'd wanted to.

no, she wants this, she works him with intention and passion, she finds a rhythm and sticks to it, when he makes a noise or his grip tightens at a particular touch — an unexpected graze of teeth or the way her tongue curls under his head, or the way she tightens her mouth around him just so for a fleeting moment — she makes sure to do it again. he's just as much a slave to her as he's always been but it's entirely more obvious now, with his hips lifting toward her attentions even as he tries to stay still, eyes falling closed in waves of sensation even though the last thing he wants is to miss a second.

she's going to ruin him. she wants to, perhaps, with that pleased hum around his dick, and his head bounces off the wall as his head falls back with a dark noise of approval. he doesn't notice the flicker of pain in the rush of everything else. his breathing is ragged as he tries to cling to whatever inch of control he has left. it's meagre and as much as he wants to pad this out forever, he knows it's impossible. ) Emma... ( he can't keep on like this, not with the combination of being so aroused after he was through with her and the intentionally gradual way she's worked him, not to mention; it's been quite some time since he's had sex, oral or otherwise. he doesn't count his own hand, because this is so much different than that.

he's greedy and wishes he could hold out longer, but he can't... and she deserves a bit of a warning before he breaks. )

[ It's taken a while for her to learn that she can be openly passionate about what they have now. This place doesn't inspire a lot of confidence, and Emma has already seen what it does to him when she disappears for a few days. They're starting to depend on each other, which might be a good thing if not for this place and how it twists everything good into something wrong and regrettable. They can't lean on each other without feeling weaker for it, without worrying about what might happen if they wake up alone one day. Everything they that they're given here just gets taken away, so maybe it won't be long until the two of them are separated again and it's for more than a few days.

They've been here for long enough that she's starting to wonder if she's ever going to get home again. Long enough that she's afraid her son is going to grow up without her and the town is going to lose their happy endings to Gold. There are things she still feels responsible for that she can't change from here, and maybe Hook is right - maybe he will lose his shot at a happy ending now that the two of them are trapped here, but the only thing they're guaranteed are the moments they have right now. They'll fight to be together, to get home, to find their footing as a couple someplace better than this, it's just that if they keep letting this place put in the distance for them, then they've lost everything already.

So she won't run if he doesn't. She won't let her fear get the better of her if he's there to hold on to. And no, she won't regret that the circumstances could have been better if what they're doing here lets them feel something more than the misery they've been dealing with lately. It's been one thing after another with her leaving, coming back to a man who lost control when she disappeared, trying to help him heal and making sure his hand doesn't get worse. There are times when he looks at her like he's expecting her to walk away, and she won't. She doesn't want to; what they're building is worth holding on to. It was worth it without this next step in their relationship, and while she's glad they're on the same page, this isn't as important as learning to trust him.

But now that she's done that, now that she does trust him, she's not afraid to let him see the spark in her eyes. Yes, she wants to ruin him, wants him as breathless as she was, as needy as she was, likes the slow slip of control when he lifts his hips and his head drops back against the wall. It doesn't matter if it's because of how long he's waited or what she's doing, it's still something new that she's able to give him, muffling a moan while her lips slide along his cock, nearly quirking upwards at his warning. She can feel the tension in his body while he starts to get closer even without him trying to let her know he's close, and if it should make her pull back, it doesn't. What it makes her is a little sloppy, and a little more determined, taking him a little deeper, a little quicker, sliding his cock over her tongue and keeping her rhythm whether he can handle it or not, mouth tugging around him just a little tighter while she works him toward the edge.

Emma appreciates the warning, she just doesn't care.]

( it's true, he looks at her like he expects her to walk her away. it's not entirely a learned fear from her tendencies to keep distance to protect herself, either, though he's certainly seen just about every angle of that too. he expects her to turn around because he's lived a lifetime of that. other than Milah, other than his brother, he's not had anyone in his life bother to stay. he told her once on a beanstalk that all orphans had that look about them, that he'd seen on too many faces in Neverland. that was true, but he knew the look because he'd been there before. no matter how far away he got from that boy that his father had left behind, he'd likely always exist. between Emma's uncertainties and the lingering reminder he hadn't been good enough, even before his path to villainy, what hopes did they really have?

he doesn't know. she has a confidence he still doesn't. he might spend a lifetime learning that Emma could care about him despite his flaws. it seemed fair enough, considering Emma might need a lifetime to know that he'd never leave her. that the way he felt about her meant for him, it was her or nothing; and he'd lived in loneliness and emptiness long enough that he'd fight for what they had. for him she was so much more than a happy ending or good sex or an incredibly attractive blonde (though she did happen to be all of those things). she was this masterful mix of so many things, a chance at life and love and meaning. those were things he'd let go of for centuries for revenge, up until she'd reminded him that he could be more than that.

perhaps he'll never be good. he doubts he can ever really remove himself from who he was once. who he'd become for revenge. those good parts of him left behind, though, Emma brought them out. made him feel more like Killian Jones than Captain Hook. that he savored that connection, that he'd fallen so fast and so hard, couldn't really be that much of a surprise, after he'd been drowned so long in black and dark.

it was a fair warning, he thought. he's imagined this a great deal, behavior more befitting a thirteen year old boy than a man of three hundred, yet none of his imaginations manage to do her reality justice. there's this steadfast determination in everything Emma does, this current of confidence when she's doing something well and she knows it. this certainly applies. he's seen her practically defiant in her determination to show him what she can do. in a way, it reminds him of that kiss in Neverland, you couldn't handle it—

she might be right, considering he breaks with a horribly embarrassing noise if he had any awareness of it. he might have been trying for her name, who bloody knows anymore. his hand clenches unbearably tight in her hair, he'd feel bad if he could think about anything but the blessed hit of release, a tightly wound knot in his gut spiraling out of his control, limbs tightening enough he feels he might nearly snap before luxurious cast of completion sits in after. it's possible he forgot to breathe for a bit in there because when he remembers he has to, they're ragged and heavy. like he's done a whole lot more than just have a woman suck him off. he's had this sensation before, only with Emma it's so much different, so much deeper, so much more... connotations he'd used to think meant something, before New York. now he can just reason it as very defined sexual chemistry and leave it at that. whatever it is that makes an orgasm feel like an enlightenment, he's not going to argue.

though when he can move, he's going to draw her up to kiss her again. hell, that was the bargain, right? a kiss. )

[He's not wrong to think things between them are different. Before New York, Emma never read into those things. They shared exactly one kiss because she was feeling good about herself and he happened to be there, not because she had any interest in building something beyond that.

It wasn't until he showed up in New York and reminded her of who she was that she knew how far he was willing to go to help her. And even then, Emma didn't know what it had taken for him to get back to her, what he'd given up to get through another portal and outrun a curse. It was always easier to write it off as him chasing a conquest than caring about her. He didn't like her for who she was, he liked her because she wasn't interested.

Even Emma Swan can admit when she's wrong, and she knows now that she was wrong about him. He didn't like the challenge, he liked her, and it was her own insecurities that made her miss it. They've grown in the past few months, showed each other pieces of themselves they used to lock away, but those memories are hers and hers alone. If he knew what she does, he might realize that Emma is starting to think it's more than very defined sexual chemistry at work. It's having someone in her life who accepts her, supports her, and wants more than sexual chemistry and a quick exit.

She used to look at other couples and think they'd achieved the impossible. Now it all feels possible, it's just not easy. With them, it's not going to be.

As embarrassing as his sex noise might be, it doesn't pull her from the moment until his hand loosens in her hair and she's slipping him out of her mouth, listening to him pant for breath while he pulls her up to the top of the bed. She didn't do anything more than suck him off, and if it earns that kind of reaction, she can't help wondering what he'll do when they're ready to take that next step toward something more. For now, she withholds a laugh when he greedily pulls her back into his arms. She's supposed to fight it. Post-sex cuddling has never been discussed, but considering how he goes in for a kiss and holds her close, Emma isn't going to fight it. They're already late for breakfast, what's a few more minutes?

Besides, the breakfast spread doesn't change from day to day. They know exactly what to expect down there, every person who they'll see. This is something new in a place where nothing changes, where everyone is miserable, where she spends the majority of her day wishing she was someplace else. It might be nice to take half an hour and pretend they're not trapped in this hell. She won't mention it if he won't.

And if he tries, she'll distract him with a few more kisses.]

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