Well, something had to be done with the pirate they'd left handcuffed to a radiator. Neal's scheming not-quite fiancee had found him and made use of him. It wasn't that surprising when one thought about it, and it really wasn't that surprising that Hook had helped them either. If he had any defense at all, it was that he hadn't realized her connection to Baelfire... though it was hardly commendable that he hadn't thought to consider it in the slightest. The woman that knew a little too much about Storybrooke even though presumably she'd never been. He hadn't cared, he'd only cared that his poison hadn't taken, and how to get the revenge he'd been fighting so long for.
Wasn't his fault? To Hook, truly, that was arguable. In fact, he thought it was important to be honest with himself about exactly how much was laying at his feet. Exactly how many things he'd destroyed for a revenge Milah had never asked for. The revenge he'd never managed to get, anyway. He wasn't expecting Neal to try and make him feel better. Really, in no way did he deserve that sort of sympathy.
Neal was not likely to convince Killian that what happened to Milah wasn't, at least partly, Killian's fault. Because even in the most objective of ways, it was. He'd pushed Rumpelstiltskin's buttons. He'd been cruel and thoughtless and triggered a fight he didn't have to. He wasn't strong enough to protect her. He hadn't crushed Milah's heart, that would always lay at Rumpelstiltskin's door, but he was far from innocent in what happened to her.
Still, that wasn't the reason he suspected Milah's ghost stared at him with hatred and contempt.
"Do you really think that's the only reason your mum would be angry with me?" Does he have to spell it out? The biting look, the painting of guilt across his features, maybe it was enough. Even if Milah didn't blame him for her death, she would likely have never forgiven him for selling her son to the Lost Boys. For spending centuries in Neverland knowing he was there, alone, and not once reaching out. For pushing toward what he wanted at the expense of her son, not only when he wanted revenge, but when he wanted love. Was it really so unbelievable that Milah would hate the man she saw now? Hook didn't think so. He closed his eyes and turned to look at the door, like even facing Neal after that kind of reminder was a bit too uncomfortable. "I'm sure if she could see me now, she would hate me. The important part is it isn't real."
His guilt was, yes. His guilt was there always, really. The ghost, though, she wasn't.
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Wasn't his fault? To Hook, truly, that was arguable. In fact, he thought it was important to be honest with himself about exactly how much was laying at his feet. Exactly how many things he'd destroyed for a revenge Milah had never asked for. The revenge he'd never managed to get, anyway. He wasn't expecting Neal to try and make him feel better. Really, in no way did he deserve that sort of sympathy.
Neal was not likely to convince Killian that what happened to Milah wasn't, at least partly, Killian's fault. Because even in the most objective of ways, it was. He'd pushed Rumpelstiltskin's buttons. He'd been cruel and thoughtless and triggered a fight he didn't have to. He wasn't strong enough to protect her. He hadn't crushed Milah's heart, that would always lay at Rumpelstiltskin's door, but he was far from innocent in what happened to her.
Still, that wasn't the reason he suspected Milah's ghost stared at him with hatred and contempt.
"Do you really think that's the only reason your mum would be angry with me?" Does he have to spell it out? The biting look, the painting of guilt across his features, maybe it was enough. Even if Milah didn't blame him for her death, she would likely have never forgiven him for selling her son to the Lost Boys. For spending centuries in Neverland knowing he was there, alone, and not once reaching out. For pushing toward what he wanted at the expense of her son, not only when he wanted revenge, but when he wanted love. Was it really so unbelievable that Milah would hate the man she saw now? Hook didn't think so. He closed his eyes and turned to look at the door, like even facing Neal after that kind of reminder was a bit too uncomfortable. "I'm sure if she could see me now, she would hate me. The important part is it isn't real."
His guilt was, yes. His guilt was there always, really. The ghost, though, she wasn't.