[open + closed] nothing to keep me from the storm

[64th]

Who: Cashmere + you
What: After being gone for 5 days, Cashmere returns to the hotel with the fury of 1000 suns
Where: All over the hotel
When: June 8th
Warnings: likely violence and ugly crying


Cashmere wakes up in the boiler room on the afternoon of June 8th, having disappeared without warning five days earlier. Five days in hotel time, but less than two for her. The last thing she remembers is the sharp pain of Johanna's ax cutting into her chest, but that's gone now. She thinks back - before that? Katniss' arrow in Gloss' chest. It doesn't take long for the realization she's returned to the hotel to sink in, on her feet and eventually yanking the door open with a frustrated scream and one goal - to find Katniss.

It feels like something inside her has snapped and though she's exhausted and afraid of what it means to be back at hotel ( she's dead this time. really, truly, dead just like Johanna said. there isn't anything left for her in Panem and nothing for her at the hotel.) and is propelled by the rage that threatens to spill over and the need for revenge.

open

She starts with the lobby, yelling Katniss' name as though it might get her to appear. She stops to interrogate anyone she sees, and if they were expecting Cash to be happy to see them again they've pick the wrong day for a reunion. Those from Panem won't be surprised to see her verbally lash out at people - it's falling back on old habits. She's fresh from the Games and it feels like everyone is the enemy.

She does stop by her room to be sure nothing's missing, and will respond to any tablet communication.

closed - Haymitch

Despite being told otherwise by literally everyone she's come across, Cashmere's next stop after the public areas of the hotel is Katniss' (now former) room, pounding at the door. "Katniss! Katniss! Come out, Mockingjay. Don't be a coward." There's no answer, but she's already convinced herself the girl is hiding inside.

She catches Haymitch's approach from the corner of her eye, stopping her tantrum to move protectively in front of the door. "Don't come any closer," she warns. "Unless you're here to help me find your stupid Mockingjay."

closed - Hook

After her run in with Haymitch, Cashmere's finally given up on finding her nemesis but it hasn't done a single thing to make her feel better. If anything, it makes her feel worse - too much pent up anger and no outlet for it. She returns to the lobby in search of an answer (or maybe a fight. probably a fight). She's looking positively feral: wild eyed and charcoal-dirtied hands that hint that she'd even gone so far as to poke at the fireplace like it might be filled with secrets. Cashmere doesn't notice him until he's close enough to touch her, distracted by her current task of looking through all the drawers of the front desk.

closed - Trip

Exhaustion finally wins over, but not until after Cashmere has completely trashed her room. It'll cause quite the ruckus for her neighbor. When he comes by to see what the hell she's doing, he'll find that she's pulled the mattress from her bed's frame, the table and chair have been overturned, and her belongings are scattered everywhere. She tried unsuccessfully to smash the window with her suitcase, and it lays discarded on the floor.

All knocks on her door she ignored until she's finally tired herself out. Cashmere hadn't been expecting Trip (or anyone, really) and rolls her eyes when she finds him waiting in the hall. "Can I help you?"

Comments

closed - haymitch

[advising]

Somehow, Haymitch always ends up encountering the emotionally unstable ones in the hallways. First the Pirate, and now Cashmere. He'd wondered where she'd been -- it's been days without hearing some snide remark over the network, if not passing her in the corridors or at breakfast.

When he rounds the corner to the sounds of shouting and the pounding of the door, Haymitch pauses, hands up in mock surrender. Of all people, he knows that wild-eyed sort of fury too well. Didn't they all look like that after their Games?

"She's not here, Cashmere." He'll tread lightly, because she's throwing Mockingjay around in a way she hadn't before, which immediately begins to raise red flags. He steps closer, despite her warnings. "Think you've beat the door enough, as it is."

[64th]

"She has to be here." Cashmere's edging on desperation. Her entire life has been built around protecting her brother and Katniss took that all away in seconds. She hasn't decided what she'd do when she gets to Katniss but Cashmere has a few ideas and most of them involve a lot of blood.

She doesn't warn him to stop, but scowls, holding her spot instead of backing up further. "You can't protect her."

[advising]

"No, apparently, she doesn't. I don't know where she's gone."

Haymitch knows that desperation, knows the fury that sits quietly until it can't be contained anymore. The Games do something to those hairtriggers -- make them both harder to trip and easier to break, all at the same time.

"And I'm not protecting her. She's gone. Poof, vanished, disappeared. So go on, wait at the door but that's not hers anymore, sweetheart, and it wouldn't do you any good to go on a killing spree right about now anyway."

[64th]

She's not entirely convinced, and that shows in her expression. Cashmere eyes him, her distrust growing as she mentally picks apart what he's said.

"Why would I kill her?" Cashmere asks after a beat. "Other than her obvious obnoxious idiocy." How much does Haymitch know? She hasn't told him a thing, so anything he's getting at, he's known all along. Cashmere's never been much in the way of friendly towards the girl, but since their arrival at the hotel she's never attempted any harm other than verbal barbs.

It's her turn to take a step closer to him. "What do you know? Why would you say I want to kill anyone?"

[advising]

Haymitch does not waver, stands his ground despite her movements. He's dealt with far worse than Cashmere before and will only deal with worse in his future, he's sure of it. He knows her to a degree -- they spend a few weeks a year together, playing nice and being perfect little Capitol pawns, after all.

"I know that look, sweetheart, and you're not exactly waiting for her to come out and do the hugging and singing songs bit."

He shrugs, waiting to see what it is she may have discovered, but he's almost one hundred percent certain he knows what it is. "You're a victor, who don't you want to kill? But she's gone. Knock and throw a fit all you want, she's disappeared." And whether he means to or not, his voice has taken on a bit of a raw edge to it, and he takes one step closer to Cashmere.

[64th]

She doesn't like his tone or the way he steps towards her, like she's the one in the wrong. Cashmere's done a lot of bad in her life but this time she's the one who is innocent. She won't let him paint her as the villain after she's lost so much.

"Back off, Haymitch," she warns again. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit." Cashmere stiffens her jaw, staring him down. "Do you know what she did to me? Yes or no."

[advising]

The Hunger Games has no true innocents in its lot -- the Victors and Tributes alike all have some motive, all are willing to kill to stay alive and although they all start innocent, they end the games sullied, damaged. Those are the people who face off in the hallway, victors, not people. Haymitch knows her fury like its his own.

"Yes."

He can't lie, and he won't. Haven't they all lost someone, something, to the Games? to the Capitol? "And it sucks. It more than sucks, but now's not the time nor the place for this. Grief, yes. Rage? No."

Says the man who half destroyed his home in the Victor's Village when he found his family and girlfriend slaughtered.

[64th]

She feels betrayed.

They've never been friends in the traditional sense of the word - hard to be friends when you come from such different places and only see each other for a few weeks a year - but she's always had a strange respect for him. He didn't win the Quell by accident and he's had her back a few times over the years. How could he have known this whole time and not found the need to warn her of what waited at home?

Given the choice between grief and rage, she will always choose rage. Grief feels like giving into the weakness that she's spent so many years denying that she has. Rage can keep her going. It's how she survived her first Games and it's all she knows to cling to now.

"You lied!" And Cashmere takes a swing at him, aiming for his nose.

[advising]

Haymitch can see the switch of emotion across her face the moment the pieces slot together, the moment she realizes that yes, he knew the truth about it all. But they were cornered, trapped in a deranged hotel, and it wasn't like he was about to let her go ape shit all over them early on. Better now, when he's sober and more equipped.

Or maybe he really should be drunk for this.

He sees the fist coming and only manages to turn his face a slight, her hand no doubt grazing his nose, but bulk of the force glancing sharply across the cheek. His nose still comes out bloody, somehow. Shit. He doesn't allow himself time to react, but tries to reach for her wrists instead.

"So I did, but we all lie. That's our jobs, we lie. We smile, we take pretty pictures, we do what we're told and we lie. Don't act surprised. It's how we stay alive."

[64th]

He catches one wrist and she struggles, trying to pull away. She'd forgotten that he was stronger than he looked. Maybe he hadn't trained for the last decade like she had, but he could still defend himself. Twisting away from him hurts, and she gives a final yank before swatting him with her other hand and fixing him with a serious glare. if looks could kill, they'd both be dead.

"He's my brother. He's all I have. You know that." The victors always know each other's dirty secrets and winning changes everything, even family. Her parents were still alive, but as far as she's concerned she's only ever had Gloss. "You should have told me."

[advising]

Haymitch won't keep her captive, releasing her wrist with the final yank and swat. He wipes the blood from his nose with the back of his sleeve. Luckily it doesn't seem to be bleeding profusely, and so he merely pinches the bridge for now.

"Yeah. I know." He knew she had a brother, he knew they were all that was left for one another. He should have told her. "That's not information to throw around willy nilly, sweetheart. We're trapped in a Hotel with no way out, I was not about to give you the ammunition to go off the scales and murder us all. But I suppose that sort of stuff is already happening anyway, I see the error of my ways."

He sighs, shaking his head, removing his hand from his nose, pleased to find the bleeding has stopped for now. "I'm sorry, Cashmere." Because he knows too well how this feels -- finding someone you love above anything is dead. And all because of the stupid Games, because it was fun for others. He reaches out with his free, unbloodied hand, and squeezes her shoulder.

[64th]

She jerks back from his touch, smacks into the door behind her. She's angry and fresh out of the arena. He does understand - she knows that. But he also deserves the bloody nose and his apology doesn't change her sour expression.

Cashmere's starting to lose steam and her voice cracks. "I did everything right. I did what Snow told me to." His name in the reaping bowl feels like failure. Wasn't it part of the deal? Play along with Snow's fucked up Games and get to keep the ones you love alive? "I did what he told me. I always did."

[advising]

"Yeah, and he still took it all away from you. I know."

Haymitch hesitates, uncertain of her reaction but he tries a step closer. He remembers this feeling -- a searing hot poker to the gut. Walking into his home in the Victor's Village, then... nothing. Nothing at all. By his standards, she's handling all of this pretty well.

"He won't win. He can't, and you can't let him."

It's a guise the Victors know well -- stolid, strong, emotionless. The moment Snow knows there's a hole in their defenses, they're done.

[64th]

"Hasn't he won already? I don't have anything left." Cashmere's backed herself into the wall, and sinks down against it with a hysterical laugh.

"He took everything. He always takes everything. At least nobody touches me here, right? All I had to do was die!" she glances up at Haymitch from the floor, which seems to be where she's decided to have a mental breakdown, to demand another answer from him. "What happens to One? What happens to my District?"

[advising]

"No, he hasn't. Not as far as I'm concerned."

But maybe he has won -- maybe when he gets thrown back to his home, it will be much the same way. Ravaged, taken over by the Capitol still despite their best laid plans. The idea alone leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

"Listen, sweetheart, I don't know much more than you. I know where I'm from, you're gone." And so is Peeta -- whisked away to the Capitol perhaps? Shot to death? He isn't sure. Carefully, he steps up to her, crouching down in front of her, not touching her, merely making her meet his eyes. "As far as I know, your district is fine. Probably will stay that way. There's a revolution, it's starting, and I don't know who will make it to the end."

[64th]

[ Her eyes are watery but Cashmere keeps her jaw stiff, still playing at being tougher than she truly is. Cashmere does meet his gaze, though she hasn't decided if she's going to believe him or not. ]

I fucked up, Haymitch. We should of run away. I knew they were going to pull our names. We should have left and - I don't know. He didn't deserve this. He protected me.